Habits

I read that psychological studies have shown that it takes about 30 days to form or break a habit.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."~Aristotle

I started this blog to record the things I have learned and share how the principle has helped me. I hoped to blog every day. That hasn't happened, but I see now that it's because I haven't made it a habit. I haven't repeatedly done it. By working on this I not only will blog everyday but I will also study and learn everyday so I have something to write about.

How much better will I be if I am learning and applying new principles on a daily basis, rather than once a week or twice a month.

"The true road to personal improvement is not miraculous; it is slow and calls for a great deal of perseverance, but it is indeed possible to progress along this road, and your effort will be amply repaid." ~David Fischman

Last Week

Last week I was just in a funk. Not sad really, but not necessarily happy either. I wasn't really able to figure out what was going on at first, then it hit me.

"Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions." Dale Carnegie

I needed to look inside me. I was focusing on everything around me without focusing on myself. Last week I took a break and didn't read and study like I should. It's amazing how letting personal development slide just a few days really effects all aspects of your life. Last week was an eye opener for me. It reinforced to me, the fact that I to take time each day to focus on positive things. I don't want another week like the last one.

Intentions

I am always planning, making lists, deciding I'm going to get something done and then the day ends and I haven't even started. Like this blog. I always intend to post something every single day. But I find myself looking for just the right quote or reading books to find just the right idea. Then I read this quote.

Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned. ~Peter Marshall

Wow, did that hit home. I need to quit planning to do big things and just focus on getting something done. I did take my own advice and posted today. My goal is to continue on through the day and see what I get done. I think it will feel better to know I've gotten a few small things finished than the feeling of failure I have when nothing I've planned to do is done.

Thoughts

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
Norman Vincent Peale"

Over the last four months I have been working to study more, to focus more and to be more positive. I will admit there have been many days that I have failed horribly. But, what I have noticed is a change. Most of the time I see things more positively. I am trying to look for the good rather than becoming upset or frustrated.

I had noticed some differences in how I felt about my life but I really hadn't noticed a change until I read this quote and took the time to think about it. What I've been doing isn't hard, it just takes some time and willingness to change.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

I am reading Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People." You are asked to read the book in a certain way. Read a chapter through, then return and re-read the chapter, this time marking ideas that strike you.

I read through chapter one yesterday and started through the second time this morning. The principle in this chapter is "Don't criticize, condemn or complain." Carnegie shares stories from Lincoln and Teddie Roosevelt explaining how they made mistakes in dealing with other people. Since I've read this book before this wasn't new to me. I don't really see myself doing this to other people. I don't get in some one's face and list all the things they've done wrong or tell them how awful they are.

Then I had a thought, there was a person that I did do that to; on a regular basis, without mercy. MYSELF. I expect perfection from me, when I don't hold anyone else in my life to that same standard. Why?

I realized that I needed to treat myself like I treat other people. I should value myself as much as I value someone else.

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. ~Sonya Friedman

Who am I?

Most of the time I refer to myself in relation to another person or thing. "I'm Bob's wife, their mom, his sister, their daughter, I work for..., I work with..." etc. But, who am I? Just me, not in relation to someone or something else.

I use to do everything I could to avoid thinking about it. I usually didn't have anything really nice to say about myself so it was better to not say anything at all. Then we were heading to Salt Lake and I had an assignment. "Look yourself in the eyes in an actual mirrror. Ask yourself what it is that is great. Not physical appearance, but what you perceive about yourself on a deeper level." The second part was to list what wasn't so great.

I was suppose to list 20 items for each. I tore through the not so great part. I had to stop myself at 20. Then came the great part. I struggled. At first I couldn't think of anything. But slowly I found one thing; then another. It was so hard but I finally came up with about 15 things.

What I realized is that I have unique gifts and talents, given to me by my Heavenly Father. I can choose to focus on what talents I wasn't given but what kind of servant does that make me. In the parable of the talents, three servants are given talents. Two of them work with their talents and increase them while the third hides his until the master returns. The two that did something with their talents are praised and rewarded while the third is rebuked and his talent taken from him. Which servant was I?

I know now that I need to do something with my talent and increase them, not focus on what I wasn't given. Each day I strive to increase my talents by using them, learning more about them or sharing them.

"If you had a friend who talked to you like you sometimes talk to yourself, would you continue to hang around with that person?" ~Rob Bremer

Blessings

"Count your Blessings name them one by one,

and it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

I have a journal that I bought several years ago, and off and on I would write in it. Things that were going on, struggles, etc. There were maybe eight entries each year. I haven't been very good at keeping up on it.

At the beginning of 2009 I decided to try something different. I have been writing down the blessings I have in my life and why I am thankful for them. At first it was really easy; family, friends, job, health. The first few weeks I had no trouble filling the pages. Lately, I've had to work a little harder at it. But, I still have things to write about. Some days, it's the weather. "I'm thankful for not having snow." Other times, I've gone back to my family and looked deeper at my blessings.

As I spend a few minutes each day being thankful for what I have been given, it opens my eyes to all the things the Lord has put in my life that I take for granted. I have been blessed with so much and I know that I need to remember to take the time to be thankful for all that I have been blessed with

In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy. ~Albert Clarke